I’m like the ticking bomb.. TICK TACK TICK TACK TICK TACK, which is closer and closer to explode. Which in time wont be able to hold back all the anger, sadness, fear, madness.. TICK TACK TICK TACK. I cant scream, I cant run away… I cant even cry anymore.  Its driving me crazy.. Plus today the memories of u were haunting me even more than before…  I truly hate April.. 5,6,7,8,9,10,11… one year, two years..ten years..? I wish I could just fade away.. But I know its impossible.

I watched all of u very carefully.. We’re all broken.. And I cannot help it.. I cannot help you.. I cannot help myself.. I couldnt help you and I will never be able to help.

Everything’s pointless. Of course there’s a lot of moments worth to live for, but mainly.. everything leads to nowhere.. Pain last way longer than happiness.. Its deeper its more rl, it’s not an illusion when our happy days usually are..

Happiness is fucking temporary and sorrow stays for good.. One little thing brings back memories so all of sudden, cutting more than a knife.. Stupid words, stupid thoughts, stupid people, stupid world, stupid hopes, stupid dreams. STUPID ME.